How to get past feeling like you’re not moving, or things aren’t coming together.

Do you ever want something different, or something more? Do you want it right away? Or have you felt as though you’ve been waiting entirely too long for what you want to come about? If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then I assure you, you are not alone.

I happened to be speaking with someone this morning about this very thing. During that conversation, I had to tell my friend the same thing that I had to tell myself. It is what my sage, 80-year old, sweet, little mom tells me all the time. “We’ve got to manage our energy.”

When my mom began telling me this, some years back, I thought I knew what she meant. However, I really did not. What I do know – now – is that there are some things we cannot change. Then there are others that will change, but we must wait on that change, for one reason or another. This dag-blame waiting game can drive the best of us insane, though – if we don’t do what mom said. Manage our energy.

If we allow ourselves to become riddled with anxiety, we won’t be able to sleep. We may not be able to eat, or in my case, we may wind up eating the wrong things, or even too much of one thing. We may find ourselves snapping at others, or we may even become depressed. Any of these things are a clear sign of not managing our energy. Worse than those things, we may become embroiled in drama. Y’all know that as a grown-ass woman, I cannot stand drama.

Therefore, in order to avoid it, and manage one’s energy, and to do these things well, we have to become like an old person. Have you ever seen or known and older person who doesn’t seem to be ruffled or moved by much of anything? My maternal grandmother was like that. Chaos could reign around her, but Ms. Cleo (not the pseudo-psychic from the infomercials) would hold her center. Mother, that’s what we called her, would remain sweet and her attitude would be:  ‘This too shall pass.’ Back while she lived, I didn’t understand how Mother could operate that way, even while gripped by the fist of fury. However, now I see. There is something about living a while; it offers perspective.

A slightly older co-worker-turned-friend once offered perspective by saying something I’ve never forgotten. While work fires were blazing all around us, calmly she said, “April, just be grateful that we don’t work in an emergency room; most of our stuff can be fixed.” Those simple but powerful words I’ve tried to live by, every single day. They aid me to do what my mom calls ‘manage my energy.’

When I remember that there are things that are slow to change, and others that just might not change; I am reminded of the fact that I can’t fix everything. I can’t always have things my way. The only thing that I can reasonably manage is me. Therefore, I breathe. I remember the things in my life that are wonderful. I think about what’s good. I forget the trolls and the gossips. I find laughter in little moments. I try to do some of what I love, even if it’s only for a few seconds a day. I try to eat something I like, or better yet, something that’s good for me. I try not to worry about what others think, because quite frankly, I really don’t know what anyone else thinks; neither do I care. When it comes down to it, what I do care about is managing my energy. I want to do this for many reasons, with the uppermost reason being: I want to feel better. I want no ding-dang drama, (except on the pages of the books I write).

I’ll tell you, when I manage my energy, things start looking up. Oh, maybe not that particular day, but it happens. Someone emails, or calls, with long awaited news! The truth is: it was going to arrive anyway. I just couldn’t remember that, not before I started managing my energy. It’s not an easy thing to do. If it were, there would be no road rage, or parents fighting at kids’ little league games; but to manage energy is so worth it. I’m no longer plagued with headaches or lingering anger or fear. My blood pressure is normal, most of the time. The other portion of the time, you know what I’m still learning to do . . . yeah, yeah, manage my energy, and so can you. Try it. What have you got to lose? Other than anxama — anxiety and drama.